Philly Today

I have a last name that can also be someone’s first name. This can have a lot of drawbacks, one of which is that people think I must be an idiot. Let’s say for argument’s sake that my last name is Carl. So when I call to make a doctor’s appointment and they ask for my last name I say, “Carl”. Their response? “No, no, your last name, dear”. My response? “You know what? You’re right. I’ve been on this planet for 29 years and I still don’t know what a last name is.” Okay, maybe I didn’t actually say that, but I should have.

Yesterday I got an e-mail from a co-worker that started off, “Dear Carl, blah, blah, blah”. I could only shake my head at that point, like I usually do. In my reply I was sure to sign my name simply “Bryan”. She writes back, “Thanks for the quick response Carl!” Now, I don’t work with this person all that much but we’ve been in the same department for a while and I know her freaking name!

Today another person at my company (I don’t really know her) called me at my desk. I answered, “Hello. This is Bryan.” There was a few seconds of silence on the other end, then: “Oh… I thought your name was Carl.” She sounded genuinely disappointed in the fact that it wasn’t. Sorry about that lady. Take it up with my parents. I, for one, am pretty glad they didn’t name me Carl Carl. That would be even worse; people would still mix up my first and last name but I would not even notice.

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